Recently the theme of procrastination is all around me. It seems lurking in the back of my mind is a task that I have put off. For me, these tend to be relatively innocuous household tasks that I hate doing. Like fixing the kitchen light fixtures that have not worked for at least a decade. According to Merriam-Websters.com, “procrastination,” means “to put off intentionally and habitually.” In the case of my kitchen lighting, the down-side of putting off this task certainly has not caught up with me, but why do I never get to it? I have observed that each of us is prone to a particular procrastination style. For example, there are the dare-devil adrenaline junkies who need the thrill of a deadline to push them forward, the collectors of facts who may encounter analysis paralysis for fear of missing out on the best option, and the weed, who has outgrown old priorities.
Whatever the style, this theme of procrastination has come up a lot recently with clients, colleagues and friends. Or as a dear friend who we can call “Blanche,” refers to it in her life, “WABing,” short for “work avoidance behavior.” Blanche will exclaim in what can sometimes sound like slightly controlled panic, “I am running behind!” She will then list how vet appointments, laundry and a lunch date conspired to sabotage her day as she rushes to meet an impending deadline. In that moment, she appears both desperate and miserable.
Why do so many of us “put off,” what we say we should be doing? One client who recently married told me she is really enjoying married life and has been putting off her work goals to focus on her new family life, but wanted to jump start her action plan while still making time for friends, family, and her new spouse. Another client told me she was putting off a career decision because she wasn’t sure she has fully explored all of her options. Blanche told me just this morning that procrastination has at times been helpful to her. As deadlines get closer the tasks she puts off become more urgent which kicks in her adrenaline to get the work done on time. These all sound like great reasons to put things off...so why does procrastination get such a bad rap?
The good news is that if you are like Blanche and some of my clients, sometimes procrastination serves a legitimate purpose for us. It can help us prioritize what is most important. But if you are finding that you cannot get out of your own way and are putting off important priorities, and the ramifications are more unpleasant than the things you are putting off, it may be time to reconsider the role of procrastination in your life.
So before putting off that next task, to-do or appointment, ask yourself, “is putting this off going to serve me?” What do I gain? What do I give up?” Is the adrenaline rush getting me across the finish line like it used to without other costs that make it less useful? Or are you like Blanche and find this daredevil rush of an impending deadline an appealing motivational driver? In any case, assessing what is, or is not, working can help you determine if you have outgrown a work style or if it fits your present circumstances.
Another theme I have heard as of late is that sometimes we find our values have changed our priorities—as in the case of my client who is now prioritizing family over achieving ambitious work goals. In such cases, taking stock of where we are now and setting or adjusting those goals that match those values can often make us feel better. So, if you are putting off chasing that next promotion that would require you to commit to working longer hours, ask yourself, what do I give up by taking on this new role versus what I give up if I choose not to pursue it. Only you can answer these questions.
I also have noticed the idea of not making a decision until every possible detail is researched. This sounds like an ideal way to make a decision, right? Collect the best data to make an informed choice. But what if there is never enough research or new data keeps coming in, so the decision is made to continue to research? It’s important to understand that in this case, not choosing is a decision itself. If you are shopping for a new car, the decision to forgo a purchase might not have any negative consequences other than sticking with your old ride. But what about more important decisions? A colleague told me he was a horrible decision maker and put off almost all decisions to his detriment because of the fear of missing out on the best one. As a result, he stayed at a job that he described as no longer working for him because he could not decide what the next best career move was for him. In his case the decision not to decide keeps him feeling stuck and unsatisfied.
But like my colleague, those of us who choose to put off a decision for fear of making the wrong decision, or for fear of missing out (FOMO), have actually made one. Ultimately, whether FOMO is at play or not, it is important to put the decision you are making into perspective. I often ask myself how important is this to my current happiness and well-being? Not every choice we make needs to be the perfect one. For example, after 19 years of looking for the perfect dining room table, I recently pulled the trigger. Although I love to entertain, my previous road-side bargain was uncomfortable and falling apart. I recognized that on balance it was more important for me to have a table and chairs I liked now, rather than holding out for the best one. I found one that was both affordable and stylish. And because it was affordable, I gave myself permission to embrace the table now without the worry of whether or not it will suit me in 30 years. This mindset was what I needed to make this happen.
Whether you are putting off the big assignment due today at 6pm, or a household matter that has needed attention, do you know why you put it off? If not, take a moment to indulge in asking yourself…does this serve me?